I didn't wear lolita yesterday, I was in cosplay at Anime Frontier and then felt too exhausted to dress up later. I guess I could have dressed up Friday or today but was not in the mood. However, I will repost an old photo from way back when that didn't seem to be posted in this blog for some reason. Or maybe I did post it, but I couldn't find the files on my media, so here it is again.
I never wore this coord out, these were test outfits for Ikki-con 2016 with special guest Baby, the Stars Shine Bright. I ended up wearing ouji steam-punk white rabbit instead (see the write up here). I wore an alternate version of this with a pirate hat to a Mad Hatter meetup later (see that write up here.) I had a lot going on in this outfit so I was shy to wear it out and obviously wasn't going to wear an eyepatch to a party where hot tea was served, but I think it's actually pretty good considering I had only re-entered lolita and j-fashion in 2015 after a long hiatus due to college and then graduate school and thus had a limited budget and wardrobe a year later. What I really liked about this coord that didn't copy over well in the Mad Hatter meet is that it even though there were some off-white accents with the pearls, I didn't try to work that in and instead concentrated on the black and brown with just a hint of tan. Thus the semi-sheer diamond tights were a better choice than the white/black card suits socks.
I sold this dress for some reason (that was stupid, I liked the print since I was a musician and wear plenty of black and brown), but if I could rewear this coord, I might change the blouse and wig and either forget the bunny ears or lean into the White Rabbit theme more with like a watch purse or something. I didn't like the pirate hat much looking back at those photos, even though the idea was sound, so maybe I would rewear this mini hat or a wear a black tophat instead.
Finally, my general advice to people who want to get into lolita fashion or wear more lolita but have hit a wall. Lolita fashion has its restrictions and rules and gatekeepy nosy drama queens for a reason, because it's called "lolita," the same as the book by Nabokov. If it wasn't called lolita, if it was called neo-victoriana-baroque-maiden or something not related to a fetish, there would likely be less rules and drama (although no guarantee, the style is elaborate and does attract type A personalities). But lolita developed for a certain purpose in Japan, to rebel against what was expected of young women in Japanese society, and it was labelled maybe carelessly though still intentionally. Therefore, Westerners familiar with the novel interpreted it strictly to keep the community safe and at least sort of relevant to what the Japanese had intended.
Now here is the trick. You don't have to wear lolita perfectly. You don't have to buy a full outfit and 3 different petticoats and abide by all 500 lolita rules and regulations. You don't have to respond to snobby judgmental lolitas if you don't want to, you can ignore and mute them. It's clothes, not a uniform, and should be enjoyed as a personal hobby and artistic expression should be. But you also need to prepare for when you post your photos online and label it in such a way that an online lolita does find it and criticize your outfit, they have their perfectly valid reasons to and you should see where they are coming from. (Whether or not that's their business in the first place is a different question.) So post your photos to your personal accounts, just don't label it lolita and you're golden. Label it as your personal fashion, otome-kei, granny-kei, kawaii fashion (not a slur by the way, jeez), cottage-core, history-bounding, vintage-dolly, whatever you like, heck, call it neo-victoriana-baroque-maiden. As many older former lolitas in the fashion (Fanny Rosie, Cursed Kaiser, Tyler from Lily of the Valley, Sanakanin, I Do Declare, Sheri Branson, among a few) will say, they have moved on from lolita fashion, but most still wear brand or DIY lolita pieces in their new style, and either way, lolita communities don't call them traitors to the fashion, at least, not that I know of but then again, I don't facebook or reddit which is where the nasty jumps out. It's possible, it can be done, and such a style evolution is in fact often admired and emulated. It's called big-brain thinking, reusing your precious favorite lolita pieces you spent money buying, reworking them into a new style, uniting past with present. Marie Kondo would approve.
My goal is to one day make a full style evolution like other older lolitas have. But I still have a lot of lolita dresses I want to wear (properly, with the perfect petticoats), and as mentioned in other posts, I also want to take my time to enjoy himekaji and gyaru and larmekei (which can also use lolita pieces by the way). For me to continue wearing lolita, I would appreciate an audience to gear my posts to and you know, sell my stuff to lol. So to all aspiring or tired lolitas out there, keep working at your coords, try making your own stuff, take this break from in person meetups to refine your style or makeup and save cash. You can be a perfect lolita with a little time and effort, but if it turns out lolita is ultimately not for you, you can still hold onto your favorite pieces ala konmari and reuse them out of appreciation by evolving a new style. Don't give up! Girls* be ambitious!
*Girls in an inclusive meaning
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